Woodworking Jokes

I’ve had her ghostwrite articles for me on several topics, including my drywall business in the real world when I needed a press release. She did all her own research and even wrote in a style that my customers and contractors could identify with. I ended up paying her $100 for the piece, and I keep coming back to her with more projects. Heck, she could be writing this article! You’ll never know!

I’m not a writer — I’ll tell you that right up front. But I can give you some hints and tips that will make your article marketing campaign much easier if you’re like me and you want to make money fast and easy. Find and hire a good ghostwriter. You won’t be sorry you did.

You can find writers simply by doing a Web search for “ghostwriter,” “ghostwriting services,” or “writing services.” You’ll need to look over their website and make sure they offer the service you’re looking for, then contact them with your proposal. Most independent ghostwriters list their e-mail address or have a “contact me” link on their site, and many of them will get back to you that same day.

Don’t be shy. Talk to several different writers until you find someone that you can communicate with. I probably e-mailed 15 people before I found my girl, and she is great!

The thing about ghostwriters is: You do have to pay them. Like everything else in life, quality costs $$. You can expect to pay anywhere from $20-$50 per article for a good, well-researched piece, but here’s what you have to ask yourself: Would you rather do it yourself or pay somebody else to do all the grunt work?

When I put it in that context for my business, paying a little money seemed like nothing, especially given the response that press release generated. Plus, when I read her final product, I upped her pay to $100 bucks. And it paid off for me: Suddenly people were coming out of the woodwork with holes in their ceiling for my crew to fix. Insert bad joke here.

There are also some really good places where writers come together in a group and you can pick and choose between them. Before I hooked up with my favorite ghostwriter, I hired people off of Guru and Craigslist. Some people also use Monster. Guru is free for employers (that’s us), which is really nice of them I think!

1) Guru: Free for employers; employees pay a fee to search projects. Guru gives you all the info on people who bid on your project including resume, references and ratings by past employers. That way you can choose the best one for your job.

2) Craigslist: Free for everybody. You choose your geographical area and then you can search postings by people looking for writing work or post your own project. You can go outside your area if you don’t care that they work offsite.

3) Monster: Free for job-seekers, so employers pay a fee to purchase job postings. It costs $475 for one posting up to about $13 grand for 100 postings. I found this a little steep, but some people really trust Monster a lot more because of name recognition and the fact it’s been around so long. It’s up to you!

The best part about ghostwriters is they agree that you will own the copyright for any material they write for you. You’ll probably want to make that clear in your initial agreement, but that’s what the term “GHOSTwriter” means. They get the money you agree to pay. You get your articles. You drive traffic to your website, in turn driving sales, which makes you more money. Everybody’s happy.

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Biker jokes have been around for ages. Just about any type of profession has a joke related to it. Sometimes, you can combine biker jokes with accountant jokes to make a funny joke. The reason these jokes are funny is because of the images people have of bikers, who are generally thought to be rough characters and accountants, who are thought to be mild mannered.

One of the best accountant jokes that can also be lumped in with biker jokes is the old biker bar joke. This is how it goes- An accountant is sitting in a bar sipping a beer. He is a mild mannered fellow and minding his own business.  A bunch of bikers roar up to the bar and then go into the bar and immediately begin harassing him. He tries to ignore them as they continue to insult him and make fun of his glasses and the fact that he is a mild mannered guy. In many biker jokes, the bikers are seen as a stereotype. The same holds true with accountant jokes.

The accountant continues to ignore the bikers who then begin poking at him and getting physical. One of the bikers pours beer on his head. He does nothing. Another pokes him with a pool stick. He does nothing. They take off his jacket and wave it in front of him like a bull. He still does nothing. 

When you are telling biker jokes or accountant jokes, you should make sure that you illustrate the point without going overboard. You do not want the joke to be too long or too short. This joke can go on about the harassment but stops at the point where the accountant pays for his drinks and leaves the bar.

One of the bikers turns to the bartender and says, “Not much of a man, was he?” sneering at the cowardice of the accountant who did not defend himself against a bunch of guys who outnumbered him and were bigger than him. 

And the bartender turns to the biker and says, “He’s not much of a driver, either. He just rode over all of your bikes.” 

Irony is part of all good jokes, and the same holds true with biker jokes and accountant jokes. It is always good, when telling jokes where someone is bullied, to let the victim get the last laugh and turn the tables. 

If you are looking for good biker jokes or accountant jokes, you can do so by going online. There are biker jokes forums as well as accountant jokes forums that can keep you in stitches. You can copy a few good jokes down and send them to friends. One way to really make someone laugh in the morning is to send them a joke. If you go online, you can find plenty of biker jokes and accountant jokes that will provide you with plenty of good jokes to tell your friends.

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